Wednesday, March 04, 2015

Dilema Kerja Dan Anak?

Dah lebih kurang 1 tahun 3 bulan dekat tmpat keje sekarang.

Ape maknenye tu?

Maknenye dah nk tiba masa kot. Hahahah.

Susah jd org mcm aku ni. Cepat bosan. Paling lama bertahan pun 1 tahun 7 bulan. Itupun dekat company yang aku suke. Berhenti sbab konon nak "take a break" skejap. Last2 dekat 1 tahun setengah gak tanam anggur. Hahaha.

Skrg ni plak tempat keje xtaula nk describe cmne. First when i came here i tot im gonna love this place. But, unfortunately NO. I was wrong BIG TIME.

Sekali lagi susah jd org cam aku ni. Xtau cmne nk describe ape aku nak. X semua org paham situasi ni. I dont expect you to. The things is, what worry me is im looking for a reason to leave. Not reason to stay. Faham dok?

So far dh jmpela beberapa reason tu. Hahaha. Tapi x semudah itu la nak berhenti kan. Bnyk bende nk fikir. Tak semua org akan support this kind of decision. Sedangkan org ade anak kalau nk bhenti keje pun dicerca mcm2, inikan plak aku yg masih berdua je ngn husband ni kan.

I dont hv many supportive people around me but still ade few yang faham sbb dorang pun jenis spesies mcm tu jgak. Dgn org2 mcm tu jela I can relate to. Blh connect ngn org2 mcm ni je. Kalau x mmg akan kene bambu jela bg sape2 yg x phm.

Sama juga isu anak. So far Alhamdulillah xdela plak sape2 sound aku lg sbb belum ade anak. Cume dah ade la org2 tua bertanya2 merisik khabar. Lagi2 plak aku mcm dh berisi sket skrg so mcm2 assumption yg keluar. Tp aku bo layankan aje.

But the fact that almost all of my married GF is already with kids or at least, expecting one, does not help. Bukannya maksud tak happy about them. Subhanallah I am, cuma kalau during friend's meeting one of the main topic yg definitely would kluar of kos la psl pregnancy/baby/kids stuff. Sudahnya aku diam x tau nk cakap ape. Yelah ko tu xde anak lagi xkan asyik nak menyampuk je ckp psl bende ko x tau.

So ape masalah aku sbnrnye? x de masalah pon. Cume masyarakat kite ni mentality ni kalau kawin je mcm wajip ade anak. Kalau xde/lambat ade anak tu kire berdosa besar atau mcm taboo la kot. Sdangkan nak ade anak ni komitmen besar kot. Mental and fizikal kene kuat.

Eh isu pasal anak ni dah selalu lah didebatkan. Semua org ade pendapat masing2. There's no wrong or right. But i think i will have 1 dedicated post psl isu ni. Right now nk fokus psl isu keje kjap. Haaa kan dah melalut. Aku mmg mcm ni. Suke lari topik. Hahaha.

So skrg dlm dilema lg. Nak stay keje kt sini pon mcm xde point dah, Lagipun before ni, masa x rasa nk bhenti mmg ade plan nk pindah area2 tmpat keje aku ni. Tp bile fikir2 blk, sayang nk tinggalkan area umah skrg. So skrg, samada tukar kerja or tukar area rumah. Aku takut bile dah pindah area tmpat keje, ditakdirkan aku bhenti jgak keje ni and tukar keje lain. Dapat plak keje dekat area umah lama. X ke menyusahkan hidup namenye tuh?

Tapi kalau ade offer menarik, i think i might go for it. X guna keje tp hati x happy. But until that offer is made a reality, mmg x bergerak la kot. Aku masih di sini. Masih berangan-angan. Jeles sgt tgk kwn2 yg happy ngn keje masing2. Mungkin mereka stress ngn keje tp mereka happy. Berbeza tau dgn org yg stress dan suffer dgn org yg stress tp happy.

Bile baca2 blk entry ni nmpak mcm aku ni org yg x bersyukur plak. Actually lain yg nk disampaikan, lain plak yg tergambar kt sini. Mungkin cara tulis salah kot. Hahaha lantakla. Bukan x bersyukur tau. X baik fikir cmtu, cume I want to be in total control of my life, not live it the way other people want it to be.

So hopefully next time i write about this topic, i will have some good news. I really could use it right now.  

Till then.


XOXO








4 comments:

Anis_Apis said...

Hi Dalila...

been following your blog for quite sometime. Love reading your post. About work, i know how u feel. I pun selalu juga tukar2 kerja...sometimes sebab salary, sometimes sebab i hate the politics, sometimes i rasa i tak suka my work, macam2 sebab. But now, am settling down in a small town, still doing the same work, salary not so much to brag about, but I have some time to do whatever I want and whenever I love to do it. I feel like i finally found my balance and it seems good. Tapi I baru kerja sini pun dua bulan..duhh so we'll see kalau lepas setahun i tukar fikiran hihi.

Anyhow, if you feel you have something you're looking for and not find it at your current place, keep looking. Jangan hirau apa kata orang, its about you at the end of the day. :)

DalilaMian said...

anis: omg,rasa nk nangis bile ade org senasib boleh x???so right now u di tempat baru for 2 months?doa la bnyk2 supaya kekal. i pun takut sgt bile dah msuk setahun pastu u rasa something is missing. penat la nk tukar tmpat baru. nk kenal org baru lg, new process lg. and it doesnt look good in my resume also. tp the heart wants what it wants..

love for life said...

good luck babe!

DalilaMian said...

loveforlife: thanks babe